“Photos speak a thousand words, but they still don’t show the whole story…
I know that feeling all to well. Hopeless desperation is the only way I can quite explain it. But it still doesn’t come quite close.
I remember I used my ed as a tool to reject others before they could get the chance to reject me.
I wanted to teach myself to not need, to be numb, to escape my emotions by escaping my body.
Forever engaged in a silent battle in my head like an itch I couldn’t scratch.
Some days I felt like I was drowning in feelings of failure.
So tired that no amount of sleep can cure you.
So weak that no amount of will can help you.
So defeated that no amount of achievement could be enough for you.
This is the truth and the side of an eating disorder that not many see unless they experience it first hand.
If you know of anyone, or suspect , or if you are a silent sufferer yourself. There is always hope. There is always a choice. I know you feel like there is no way out. But you must dig deep , deeper than the voices and grab hold. Grab hold and tell yourself – hell, scream it into the mirror!: “I AM WORTHY- I AM BEAUTIFUL , TALENTED, KIND. I AM MORE THAN THIS DISORDER. DONT YOU DARE TAKE ME AWAY, I WILL HAVE MY LIFE BACK, I WILL FIGHT. I WILL WIN.”
Everyday, will be a struggle, but everyday you will become more and more alive. And I’m with you every step of the way. You are not your disorder. 💜”